Friend

I have something to share to you my friend, kind of thoughts...perhaps for you and for all of us to ponder with.

Risk of Love:

A risk of love fails when one partner cannot give of himself,when he/she fears getting close and cannot trust, or when he no longer sees the other as a person but as an object onto which he can project the unsolved problems and issues of his/her past.

A risk of love fails when one partner cannot grow and demand that his/her partner stay the same.
A risk of Love fails when partners are no longer special to each other...

Risks of love depend on being intimate and sharing....When the honesty between two loving people is compromised, the interfaces that were once shared between the two in complete openness begin to close.Mutuality diminishes. Instead, each partner finds reasons for holding back and for not being open as easily as he/she once found excuses to be together.

In a risk of love you must risk for yourself.Any risk you take must improve your chances/purpose of becoming you. A risk of love that restricts your ability to grow into your best self is no risk at all, but a self-destructive act that does not increase your freedom.Without freedom to grow into your potential, your risk is not worth taking. To risk for the love of another person without risking for the love of yourself is to set up a failure in the future when your needs surface and demand to be fulfilled. These needs are to be whatever you would have been without the other person. If you do not protect your rights in taking a risk of love,you will undermine the very love which you are risking.

My friend, i shared these thoughts of Dr. David Viscott to you for you to rethink your life. I'm your friend...and i love you. i just wanted you to be happy as you also desire happiness in your life. Just a piece of advice, don't risk for the sake of fear of being abandoned...to hide from the reality to be hurt...to hold back to the things which we all know would only lead us into discontentment and unnecessary frustrations in our future life...I know how much you desire to be happy, fulfillment in your life, and in your future...Stand on your desire...sometimes we must take the necessary compromise decision...to "risk".

But sometimes, we missed the real essence of risking...see the the highlighted phrase above... Let us not forget, that a risk taken without a clear purpose is in trouble from the start...If your are going to take risks unnecessarily, you are most likely to do so because you were afraid to ask questions. It's better to appear stupid than to make a big mistake....which for me a very distorted and opposite outlook in taking risks...If you don't expect the loss, you don't and will not understand the risk.

Whenever you allow someone to take your risks for you, you are putting your fate into the hands of someone who cannot take your interest to heart the way you would.

Lastly, If your life is ever going to get better, you'll have to take chances...
Have a nice day!

Good luck my dear friend...
God Bless...




Vincent